


Let The Clock Strike One More Time

by azyren1004



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 1880s, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood, Cheating, Daggers, Descriptions of Blood, ESH (Everyone Sucks Here), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Guns, Heavy Angst, Killing, M/M, Minor Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Moral Ambiguity, Morally Ambiguous Character, NO ONE in here is a good person please don't try model them, No Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Beta Read, Post-Break Up, based in victorian era england, fluff if you really really squint, highly renjun and jeno centric, most of the other characters are minor, unhinged, violence scenes aren't too graphic but I want everyone here to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27190915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azyren1004/pseuds/azyren1004
Summary: “If being in love means being insane, if this feeling of joy, this assurance of forever, and this yearning for him to be in my arms, means being insane, then so be it.”-Or, when Renjun asks Jeno to pretend to love him for 3 nights. One for every year they were together because he just can't let him go.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: nct title fest 2020





	1. A Very Short Prologue: The Deal is Made

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> I can't stress enough that this is a work of fiction and none of the characters here are meant to serve as role models, reflections of the real people, or should be idolised in any way, as put in the tags, Everyone Sucks Here. Violence in this fic isn't a reoccurring theme (it doesn't occur until later) and won't be described in a very graphic way (think like Shakespeare sorta), but I do want everyone to stay safe. All similarities to real-life events are coincidences and all media mentioned in this story is a twist on media portrayed at the time, they do not exist in reality. I beg everyone to read the tags before continuing to read, but otherwise, I put a lot of my brain cells into this work and I hold it very dear to me. Having said that, I hope you enjoy!

The moon gleams sadly as it watches the pale boy tremble, brown hair sticking to his face as he breaks down. To say that Renjun’s world is crumbling under his feet is an understatement in itself. Those words were cruel condensation of the immeasurable, sinking feeling in his chest as his heart shatters to pieces, a silver ring that matched his own weighing heavily in his fist. He tries to salvage what’s left as he whispers soft "why"s over and over again. He tries gathering his thoughts together to comprehend the situation, he tries most earnestly, but he just can't. He clings desperately to the other boy, tears rolling down his face as the other speaks.

“Let go of me, Renjun.”

He can physically feel all the magic slip through his fingers as he shakily grasps the silk sleeves of Jeno’s nightshirt, the same way he grasps at every straw, at every hint and at every drop of their relationship left as he takes multiple, quivering breaths, looking at the blond-haired boy through blurred eyes, voice small and broken.

“What changed Jen? What went wrong?” 

Jeno doesn’t even turn to face him. Instead, he coldly shakes him off, nursing his wrist with his other hand as he tilts his head towards the sky.

“Was it me? Was I not demure enough? Not bright, not pretty enough? Not rich enough?” his voice cracks, trying to push through the tears as it raised in volume “Could I not give enough to you? Please! Tell me Jeno!”

“It was nobody’s fault.” 

He feels the weight of Renjun’s head drop onto his back, as the cold, heartbroken tears soak into his shirt, the boy was now punching him in unbridled rage, but he remains still as a rock, not a sound of pain escaping his lips.

“No, tell me! Why are you doing this? I thought we loved each other unconditionally, flaws, imperfections and all. We promised under the stars Jeno!” 

Jeno still doesn’t turn around, only sparing a glance over his shoulder.

“It was bound to happen sooner or later. We were already tearing at the seams, it was a long time coming, Renjun. You were just too busy clinging onto the idea of me to notice.” 

Renjun hates the look in Jeno’s eyes. It is full of pity, remorse, guilt and every emotion he despises the most. Jeno turns away again and looks back up. The scene was mockingly picturesque. Translucent clouds frame the two boys under their favourite tree, the wind gentle against their skin, the moon hiding beneath a tall manor and a beautiful clocktower, the clock face glowing a stark, bright gold in the dark night. He can hear the same stars they promised under taunting him as his former lover continues.

“My heart wanted real, genuine love. Something that wasn’t a house of cards waiting to be blown away, and I found it. I just didn’t find it in you.” Jeno takes a deep breath, “You don’t deserve to be chained to someone who has eyes for another, you deserve someone who can love you with everything they have, someone who will love you back. I want you to find your own happiness. Really, it’s for the best.”

He then puts distance between them, back still turned as he tries to walk away, an unspoken goodbye floating in the air. He had never liked the gnawing feeling that had been plaguing him for months and didn’t want his current situation to feed into it, but Renjun was never the type to give up. The latter grabs his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

“Wait! Don’t leave!”

Jeno looks back and scowls. He wanted nothing more than to get this over with, to throw away the guilt as well as the dirty feeling on his skin. 

“Why are you stopping me? Would you rather me stay with you? Have me keep cheating on you?” His eyes soften “You’re better than this Renjun.”

Renjun’s voice, though quiet, cuts through the still night as he makes his plea. 

“No, I won’t ask that of you, just hear out my proposal before you go. Do me one last favour. It’s the least you can do.”

Jeno freezes, the biting monster in his brain telling him to stay in his place and hear out his former lover. Renjun on the other hand doesn’t know when his anger was overridden with such pure desperation, such pure anguish. Maybe it’s the image of the love of his life walking away from him, figuratively and literally as he leaves for another, maybe it’s the idea of the man he gave everything to be happy with someone that wasn’t him. No matter what it was, Renjun couldn’t let him leave, not like this.

“Keep pretending for me, just for 3 nights. One for every year we were together. Pretend you still love me. Pretend that you still see stars in my eyes, that you still cuddle and sing me to sleep, that you still see worth in me until the last hour of the third night. We can end things on a better note. Consider it as giving me time to cope with the situation.”

Jeno had never felt more conflicted in his life. He wasn’t expecting this breakup to be clean and easy but his proposal came completely out of the left-field for him. He didn’t know what to think. Renjun, sensing the troubled state of the younger, let go of his hand and let the limb fall limp by his side.

“Take mercy on the poor heart that you broke and at least consider it. I’ll do all the thinking. Just play along for me before I have to let you go, I beg of you. I won't bother you again after the clock strikes midnight. You will be free to love your new soulmate until death do you part. I’ll disappear” 

He cries harder, the stream of tears falling down his cheeks only growing stronger as his small body shakes. His voice catches in his throat and it breaks Jeno’s heart in every way possible.

“Just, give me three days of your time.”

Time changes people, and it spares no one.

The Jeno of three years ago would have never dreamed of harming a hair on the older’s head, but here he was reducing the proud, witty, confident boy to a sobbing mess as he pleaded for him to stay. The boy had given him his heavily guarded heart and he burned it to ash. The monster in the back of his head claws at him as he looks at the damage he had done. It’s overwhelming, all-consuming and finally, he gives in. He cups his former lover’s cheek and wipes away the falling tears, whispering a quiet agreement and hushing the other as he brought his head to his shoulder

Renjun lays his hand over his and smiles, the glow of the clockface casting an ethereal glow over the boy. If Jeno wasn’t in love with another, maybe, just maybe, he would have fallen all over again.

“Thank you so much, Jeno”

They can both hear the clock tower strike twelve in the distance as he envelops the smaller boy into his arms, the other melting into him. He waits and waits, rubbing his back until Renjun’s sobs slowly subside under the watchful eye of the full moon. And once Renjun is on the brink of succumbing to the darkness of sleep, Jeno scoops him up in his arms and walks back to his own estate, making sure to murmur a few last words before Renjun finally falls.

“I’ll make these 72 hours you have given me worth it. I promise, my little swan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is relatively short, but I promise the next chapters are almost double in length! This is just to give context and exposition before things start to get more intense. If you enjoyed it, I would appreciate it if you left a comment, it would really make my day! Thank you for reading and I hope you stay around for the next ones!


	2. 1: Only Fools Fall for You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! if it wasn't obvious enough, I had Troye Sivan songs on loop while writing this chapter (yes including Renjun's cover and the crispy fuck, dw I can't get over it either). That being said, enjoy!

The sunlight peeks out the gap between the curtains and shines on Renjun’s face, gently stirring him awake. Renjun reluctantly pushes himself up, rubbing his eyes as he tries to regain his bearings, but in doing so, he realises that someone had changed him from his matching navy, jacket and waistcoat to a silky, red nightshirt that is too big for him and therefore, definitely not his. Panicked, he quickly checks under the blanket, thanks the heavens above that they were the same pair, but then almost screams at the arm wrapped around his waist. Clutching his chest, he observes the room. 

The brown, peeling walls were meant to be a common, almost everyday sight to him, as well as the mahogany desk beside the window, the oak dresser and the hearth with fresh soot gathering at the foot, but as much as he wishes he could fool himself into thinking it was another lazy day, his eyes fall onto the picture frame by the nightstand, next to the top hat he had given Jeno once upon a time and his heartbroken state hits him like a slap.

The picture frame, which had formerly contained a photo of Jeno’s family, was now replaced by him kissing another, smiling in a flower field. 

Even he didn’t get that privilege and he had been dating him for three years. 

The bitter taste grows stronger in his mouth as he stares longer at the picture. The other man looks more fitting to be his partner. Even through the grainy, black and white film, his smile was still stunning. Renjun wasn’t blind. The other boy had sweet eyes, cheerful aura and apparently, everything he didn’t have, and for Jeno, the love of his life to leave him in the dust like that, he must have been an angel. He would have left himself too for a boy like that.

Renjun turns back around, unable to look at it anymore, and is met with the chiselled face of his former lover, still sleeping even when a ray of light moves to hit his face. Renjun moves a careful hand to his golden cheek and strokes it with his thumb. 

To him, the situation was so beautifully tragic. The room was familiar, the air was familiar and, before the previous night, he had thought the person in front of him was familiar, only to have it all flipped on its head overnight with only the shattered remains of his heart to remind him of what once was. Tears already spent, he decides to move his hand from Jeno’s cheek to his waist, hugging him like a lifeline. The nights of loneliness suddenly made sense. The fact that they haven’t visited each other in four months also presents itself in a lot more clarity. It was just, so, so, obvious. 

_Were they really falling apart all this time?_

But before Renjun could drown in his thoughts, Jeno’s arm around his waist tightens as he lazily opens his eyes and kisses him. 

“Good morning, my star.” 

Renjun’s eyes widen for a few seconds before he dives in to kiss him again, deepening it once he remembers their situation. His lips are gentle yet somehow desperate as he reaches a hand into Jeno's hair. For three nights, he could pretend that nothing happened, for three nights, he can delude himself into believing that Jeno would never leave him. The latter will entertain the remaining pieces of his broken heart for three nights before he smashes it onto the ground again.

He can’t waste any of it.

Renjun sees the cogs in Jeno’s mind turn as he quickly pulls away and gets out of the bed, leaving Renjun to quickly catch himself on the edge of the nightstand as he heads towards their overcoats hanging on their hanger. 

“Jae- Junnie! What would you like to do today?” 

And just like that, the illusion shatters and Renjun feels yet another piece of his heart chip and fall away. Steeling himself as it dawns on Jeno, he adds a bite to his words as he replies. 

“I would like to go to the park where we had our first anniversary picnic. You remember, don’t you?” 

Jeno nods, trying to smile away his mistakes, but Renjun continues in the same scathing tone. 

“The deal was to act like you still loved me for three days. Are you that in love with him? To the point you can’t accomplish some basic acting?” He scoffs “Acting is part of your job and you get my name wrong. I guess I really was just that insignificant to you. ” 

Jeno sneers to himself as he returns to the scowl he sported the other night. 

“Don’t you think lowering yourself down to this level is a little pathetic Renjun?” He gestures around his room. ‘Just for a peasant who doesn’t have a cent to his name? Aren’t you ashamed, even in the slightest?”

Renjun’s face darkens as he harshly pushes the blanket away and storms towards the boy, yanking his jacket from his hands and slapping Jeno across the face. Jeno doesn’t flinch, maintaining eye contact even with the glaring red mark on his cheek, and in retaliation, Renjun's eyes darken even further in anger, his voice adopting a venomous tone.

“Get dressed. We leave in an hour. I advise that you pull yourself together by then. Know your place Jeno” he snarls, before exiting the room, slamming the door on his way out. 

Jeno could only stare at the door as the echoes bounced off the walls, rooted to the ground before he forced himself out of his reverie to get ready. He grabs on his waistcoat, his jacket and his hat and spares a glance at the picture frame before heading off to his ensuite. 

_Three days, until Jeno can love him freely. He will make it. For him._

🦢

Jeno steps out of his old, wooden door to see Renjun waving at him, all happiness, smiles and rainbows. It really was amazing how Renjun could act like their last encounter never happened, how he could not flinch as he walks over and pulls him by the hand to lead him to his horse-drawn carriage or how he leans his head on his shoulder as he looks out the window. But Jeno decides not to question it, instead, rubbing a thumb over Renjun’s hand as he makes casual conversation with their carriage driver. He had missed his friend terribly since Mark lives at the Huang’s estate, so Jeno nods along as he listens to the misadventures of the friendly driver as he tries and fails to court the noble singer, Donghyuck. Jeno doesn’t dare spare a glance at Renjun when he stops looking at the green hills and blue, cloudless sky to listen in. As Mark rambles on with starry eyes, he turns towards them and beams.

“Ah, I really wish we could be like you two. You always seem so in love, like you would give the world to each other, like you would never leave each other. What a dream!” 

They both tense as he turns to face Jeno and continues, eyes still sparkling.

“On that topic, where have you been Jeno? The master has missed you so! He always says that you had plans so you simply weren’t able to come over.” 

Jeno puts on his most convincing smile, his heart racing in his chest. “I did have plans, and so did your master. We were just able to clear my schedule for the next three days until we both have to return to business. Are we here already? We seemed to have stopped.” 

Mark, thankfully, hums an affirmative answer as he jumps down to lower the steps, leading Jeno to let go of Renjun’s hand and get up as soon as the door opens. Renjun would be lying if he told himself that the way Jeno threw his hand down didn’t hurt him just a little, but he reappears outside the carriage door and helps Renjun down, the sunlight gracing his handsome face before heading to the back to gather their picnic equipment, giving the other time to mask his pain and absorb the surroundings, the beauty of it quickly quelling his sorrows. 

Crystalline blue waters stared back at him, the swans honking into the crisp breeze as the wind circles around his face and wrists. The green grass, decorated with dandelions and daisies feels lush under his new shoes, it was like he stepped into a painting. People lay on the grass in the far distance, cheeks just a little burned from the sun that was so high in the sky, and his heart thrums in excitement as his chocolate eyes sparkle. He is tempted to take out his sketchbook and draw every detail, every flower and every ripple he saw, but Jeno leans into his field of vision, golden locks, billowy shirt and all and he feels as if the art in front of him is complete. 

“Junnie, are we going to go sit?” Jeno tilts his head, hand out and voice honeyed.

The sweetness of Jeno’s smile, the crinkle in his eyes and the pure adoration that he seemed to exude made Renjun’s breath catch in his throat, for it almost made him believe that the last 24 hours never happened, and Renjun takes what he can. He sits down on the checkered picnic blanket and unpacks the sandwiches, handing one to Jeno before leaning his back onto his hands, one palm strangely close to the other’s. He smiles towards the swans in the lake as he basks in the silence, the wave of memories and nostalgia bringing him to the brink of tears, but he reigns it in. 

“Hey, Jen, Do you remember when we first met?” 

Jeno laughs as he takes another bite out of his sandwich. 

“Of course I do. A failed aspiring dancer in a cheap Swan Lake feature befriended then swept off his feet by a noble. How could I forget? I’m surprised I’m still not called a gold digger till this day.”

Renjun swats him lightly, chiding him for looking down on himself before chuckling along. Jeno had the most beautiful eye smile, actually, he was beautiful in general. The glimmer he always has reminded him when they were in their teens, young and beautiful as they were swept up in a whirlwind romance, their tale on every villager’s tongue as they gossiped away. The boyish aura of his angular jaw and reminiscent smile makes him believe that they weren’t in their mid twenties falling apart under the pressures of adulthood, where they didn’t have businesses to run or old rich men they had to please and didn’t have to care about society’s wrath if they found out they could have been forever. To Renjun, Jeno was youth and everything that encapsulated it, every pitfall, every crevice and every joy. Jeno is someone he desperately wants to hold on and never let go. So, he tries. 

“I just wanted to tell you that I really did fall in love that day. That even in heavy makeup and the gaudiest costumes I have ever seen, you were absolutely stunning. The most ethereal boy I have ever seen.” He turns to face him and smiles. “You still are, you know?” 

Jeno's eyes widen, looking slightly astounded at the boldness as Renjun takes a bottle of orange juice out of the basket and pours each of them a glass casually, raising his own to his lips. 

“May I lean on your shoulder Jeno?” 

Jeno nods as Renjun puts down his glass and rests his head in the crook between his neck and shoulder, watching as the birds rushed to the breadcrumbs thrown into the water by an elderly couple. He places Jeno’s hand into his hair and Jeno can only think about how it managed to stay so soft throughout so many years. 

“I was your little swan, your Odette to my Prince Siegfried. You said it was because swans were incredibly beautiful, but oh so aggressive. Our romance was a dream come true to me. Kisses under the moonlight, horse rides in the fields, and dances in my empty ballroom, you were my happiness, you were everything to me.”

Renjun notices Jeno’s hand freeze, but he continues anyway. 

“I relish the times where we would just chuckle under the covers as we badmouthed shitty coworkers, laugh as we sat on top of my roof and watched the stars, you were home and more. Jen,”

He sits up and cups his cheek, eyes watery.

“I really don’t want to die like in the ballet. Alone and in grief, remembering what once was mine.”

Jeno’s breath catches in his throat as Renjun leans in, their noses touching. Renjun sees many emotions flash as he stares at him, but the most prominent was hesitance, and he hates it. It kept telling him that this is unhealthy for him, that it will only lead to hurt to a scale that was unimaginable until he was left a broken man with nothing left to fix. The signs were there, but Renjun was a fool, he always was. 

“Kiss me. Please.” he whispers. 

And Jeno complies.

He surges forward, hand on the small of his back as their lips touch and somehow, Renjun forgets. He strokes his thumb against his cheek as Jeno’s grip tightens in his hair. He doesn’t care that he is in public, or that this was most likely an act that meant nothing to the other, he just wanted this to last forever. He pulls Jeno closer as he tries to forget more. He wanted to believe that this could be real again, that he could win Prince Siegfried’s heart back from Odile, that sweetness on his tongue and the fire he felt in his heart was truly his. And as Jeno pulls away to take a breath, lips swollen and cheeks flushed, he steels his resolve.

Jeno will be his, he thinks to himself as he kisses him again and again under the burning sunlight; until they’re both breathless. No matter what it takes, no matter what he loses, he doesn’t care. 

Even if he has to lose himself, he just wants the love of his goddamn life to love him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is sad, but the next chapter is a bit lighter to give you some room to breathe don't worry! Don't forget to leave a comment if you enjoyed! Thank you for reading! <3


	3. 2: The Market is Full of Wonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the breather chapter, I just have one thing to say. *deep breath* mysterious art store chenji!, ok enjoy reading!

Jeno wakes up in Renjun’s room the second day, rubbing his bleary eyes as a white, freshly ironed dress shirt of a calibre he could never afford is thrown onto his face. Renjun is awfully smiley today, with a bowler hat, basket and coin purse in his hand and he flits around the room gathering his items for the day. Jeno attempts to open his mouth to ask but a pair of pants were thrown at him again as Renjun tutts under his breath. 

“Dress up you big oaf, we’re going to the market today!” Renjun tsks as he rummages through his closet, chucking a waistcoat at him. To say Jeno was confused was an understatement, Renjun never really liked to go outside, nor was he ever this chipper. The Renjun he knew was someone who isolated himself in his office running a business he was destined to inherit from the minute he was born. The Renjun he knew only tolerated sunlight if Jeno or one of his closest friends dragged him out forcefully, which was how they met, so when the other smiles at him and asks why he is staring, before teasing him asking ‘am I that attractive?”, Jeno’s brain finally gets itself together as he bolts out of bed, gathering his clothes to wash up and get ready.  


He takes the time that he brushes his teeth, takes a shower and gets dressed to think deeply, but he still can’t make sense of it, even after he is fully dressed, splashing water in his face over and over again.

Renjun was always too scared to go to the market, saying that his father forbade him and that he had never seen it. He sent his waitstaff to shop for him. Jeno has never met his father throughout their relationship, but all he knew was that Renjun was deathly terrified of him. He doesn’t know what prompted the change of heart, struggling to accept it as he fixes his shirt. To the other’s credit, Renjun chose well. It was the perfect middle-class clothing, not too fancy, but they didn’t look poor either. The fashion was slightly out of season, with the waistcoat he was given being single breasted, but not made out of the peasant materials he was used to like fifth hand, dark wool and frankly, he had to say he looked quite handsome in it. He steps outside, only to have his hand suddenly grabbed by Renjun as he drags him out the door, passing by the confused staff as they run past the foyer, hands on their head to keep their hats in place as they dash past the courtyard and jump into a waiting carriage, door slamming behind them. There was something very endearing in the way Renjun smiles, face flushed with the physical exertion as the driver chuckles and waves, face very unfamiliar. Jeno tilts his head in question, but Renjun beats him to it. 

“I rented a carriage! That way we can really get the middle class experience. Are you proud of me and my incredible foresight?” 

Jeno isn’t sure what to do, replying “yes baby, I am” as he pushes the cloth covers back to stare out of the ledge of the carriage. His mind floats to the days before. He had seen more sides of Renjun in the last few days than he had in three years, and maybe, as much as his current lover tries to convince him otherwise, he doesn’t want to lose Renjun either. Even before their romance, they started as friends when they met, Renjun courting him with several gifts, love letters and poetry before he said yes. And Renjun was so earnest, so pure and in his opinion, deserved everything and more. He wants to stay friends, but Renjun-

“Why aren’t you paying attention to me?”

Jeno turns, and, faced with Renjun’s pout, his mind short circuits. Renjun was adorable when he wanted to be, unbearably so, and unfortunately, he knew his pout was his biggest strength. So Jeno gives in and brings the other into a chaste kiss, surprising even himself. He can feel the grin on the other’s lips as he kisses back and he wishes he could say the same, but all this kiss does is drag him back into reality by the ankles. It felt empty, reminding him that he did not love this boy back. He may have used to, but not anymore. His heart belonged to another and as much as he didn’t want it to, it did, but what was he if not a brilliant actor? It was part of his job after all. 

Jeno breaks the kiss as he feels eyes on them. He turns towards the driver as he stares at them awkwardly. It is then he realised that the carriage has also stopped. He pushes Renjun back gently as he apologises to the driver, who waves them off with a “it’s alright, you two were cute” before hopping down to lower the stairs, and when the driver opens the door, they are greeted with a bustling marketplace. Everything hits them at once, the women who had children following behind them in trails as they headed towards the bakery, the young man trying to bargain with the jeweller for a shiny gold pocket watch, the youths running hand in hand down the paths as they race from stall to stall, the fruit seller screaming deals at the passerby, it was a lot to take in and Jeno couldn’t help but coo at Renjun’s awestruck expression as his eyes sparkle. 

“Hey baby,” he puts a hand under Renjun’s jaw to close his mouth and laughs as the brown haired boy’s skin turns a fiery red “Do you want to explore instead of standing there and staring?” 

“I…….I don’t even know where to start.” he trails off, seeming to be deep in thought. ‘Do they have an art store here?” 

“Yeah, they do, just around the corner. Why?” 

Renjun’s whole face lights up, clasping his hand with both of his as he beams. 

“Show me the way!” 

In seeing Renjun’s expression, Jeno almost forgets his current predicament as he melts, taking the boy’s hand in his and walking into the fray of people. Somehow, he nearly forgets that he loves another as Renjun stops in his tracks every few stalls; marvelling at the ‘craftsmanship’ as the baker makes pastries live behind his window or running up to Jeno as he asks how a ruby brooch looks on him. But when Jeno is just about to fall in love with him all over again, just as hard as he did the first time, he spots a girl with pink hair running past him, and the rose tinted lenses he just wore smash onto the ground. He shouldn’t get confused. He shouldn’t feel like this. He didn’t deserve to feel like this. He doesn’t want to break more hearts than he has to. 

Jeno snaps out of his thoughts as the bell of the art store door chimes and a cheery “Welcome!” rings around the room. The art store is quite whimsical if he had to say so himself. Varnished, dark, wooden shelves that were around 3 meters tall if Jeno had to guess and stainless steel ladders to navigate each aisle. The walls were painted a dark, rich purple with golden detail and it looked more like an old potions store or a bookstore from another realm than an arts and crafts store. The lanky clerk walks out of what he assumes to be a storage room to greet them as Renjun lets go of his hand to take out a list, rambling to the poor boy who was starting to get overwhelmed with the sheer excitement radiating off him. Jeno watches, slightly endeared as Renjun rushes around the store when another employee taps him on the shoulder. He looks to be slightly younger than himself, and quite friendly, so he attempts to read the nametag, but “Cnhele” doesn’t seem to be a legitimate name. The other notices and covers the tag with his hand, holding out the other with a friendly grin, which he gladly takes.

“Ignore that. I got this name tag recently and the blacksmith spelt it wrong.” his bowl cut covers his forehead as he adjusts his bowler hat. “You’re the dancer that performs at the local theatre aren’t you? I’ve seen some of your shows. The name’s Chenle and I own this quaint art store! Nice to meet you!” 

“Jeno, nice to meet you too,” he mutters as he rubs the nape of his neck. 

“Ah, the one with your boyfriend is Jisung. We’re also dating so I thought we could bond over that you know? I really do like to chat with customers, they offer great company” 

Jeno chuckles quietly as Renjun hops to try to reach the ruby paint jar above him, just slightly out of reach, refusing to use the ladder before Jisung reaches over him and gets it down himself. Renjun has always been insecure about his height to a comical extent, and to Jeno, it is one of his cutest traits. 

“Yeah, maybe we can.” 

Chenle leans over to look at Jeno’s expression and follows as Jeno tears his eyes from the scene to a mysterious book that was put face down. Ratty and leatherbound, it had a faded, hand-painted cover of two figures dancing. Though the colours and lines were dulled, Jeno could make out a few small details, the once vivid blues, reds and greens highlighting a small knife grasped in one of the lover’s hands, tip pointed at the other’s back as they hug each other, completely oblivious. Chenle smiles as he picks up the book and dusts it off. 

“Ah, Romeo and Juliet, a beautiful play if I say so myself, if not terribly tragic. This is a different adaptation though, my mother’s favourite”

He hands the book to the confused blond, who looks over it with a curious gaze, skimming the pages that were faded, old and well loved. 

“What’s so different about it that it became as dearly loved as the original play itself? May I ask?” 

“Well, for one, this book gives them great flaws, which make the play so much interesting” Chenle taps his chin, feigning thought. “This way twists are made so much more delicious due to the characters so much complexity. Their motives are very well explained. Yes, yes. Though I do have to say that the last few scenes are….. unhinged, to say the least.”

“Unhinged?” 

Chenle leans back against the wall as Renjun and Jisung chat on their way to the cash register, an adoring look passing his face as he looks on.

“Yes, though I’m afraid I’ll ruin the story for you if I tell you. It’s best to go in blind with these things. Though I do think that you would enjoy books like these. It would suit people like you.” 

“People like me?” 

Jeno slightly feels like a parrot, echoing every word that came out of the young art shop owner’s mouth, but he was so incredibly cryptic that Jeno needed thinking of the highest levels to even try deciphering his words. He felt like he was stuck in the children’s tale he bought as a child, like Alice talking to the Mad Hatter as he was trying to make sense of the world he was in. In their own bubble, in their own world as Chenle sighs to himself. 

“I’m only at the ripe age of 23. I’m still at the age where I go wherever my heart takes me, where I hold onto what I want and cling onto it for dear life. My relationship with Jisung being a prime example”

Jeno doesn’t know what he is talking about, as he had never cared to listen to the town gossip, learning to drink privately rather in pubs and to avoid crowded meeting places after meeting Renjun, but he doesn’t pry as Chenle’s voice sounds painfully sardonic.

“The cynics laugh at the hopeless romantics, call them foolish for believing such tales, telling them to grow up, settle down and accept reality, while the romantics criticise the cynics for being cowards, that ‘it’s better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all’. That book merges the worst of both worlds, breaking both the cynics and the romantics hearts to pieces as it criticizes. It’s a scathing book because even with motives clear, and characters fleshed out, the meaning is left to multiple, vague, moralising interpretations. It really opens your eyes.” 

“And what message did you get from it?” 

Chenle faces him with a look that Jeno couldn’t interpret and he doesn’t think he wants to.

“That if you love someone, don’t let them go. Don’t let them leave you, no matter what cost, or you might just lose a piece of yourself.” 

Jeno feels a horrible sinking in his gut as Chenle stares at him with the most deadpan, serious expression he’s seen, and he wonders if he’s gone insane. Jeno’s feet are rooted to the floor. He freezes up. He wants to scream at the younger at just how wrong he was, whisk Jisung away to somewhere safe, or run away from the situation. He doesn’t know what exactly was in that book that made Chenle get that message, but he was nothing but terrified, heart thumping loudly against his chest, before Renjun taps him and, suddenly, the tension that was there dissipates. 

“I paid already Jen, I think I’m ready to go now. Thanks for being nice to me Jisung!” 

The awkward, lanky boy slightly raises his hand to wave before scurrying back to Chenle like a scared mouse. Jeno glares at Chenle, wondering if he had something to do with the other’s skittish behaviour but Chenle has returned to his formerly easygoing nature as he tosses the ratty book in Renjun’s basket. 

“Read it. It’s a nice book really, a great way to pass rainy days, though I would appreciate it if you return it quickly. I like that book very much you see, but I’ll loan it because you seem like a nice bloke” 

Renjun accepts it, voice sweet as he gathers his things and opens the wooden door. Chenle and Jisung wave in the background and it stirs the wavering, terrified feeling, growing even more as he hears Chenle’s voice, as saccharine as it is deadly. 

“Thank you! We hope to see you again!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok! nearly there everyone, just one more chapter! I appreciate that you stuck around for so long and enjoyed it! Just a quick warning that there is violence in the next chapter so please do proceed with caution. But if you enjoyed it so far, please leave a comment that would be wonderful : D


	4. 3: When The Clock Strikes 12 (The Red Ball)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the grande finale! Congrats to everyone here! There is violence in this chapter so please proceed with caution. But other than that, get ready for some drama and some 1880's Victorian Ballrooms!

Renjun stares coldly into the mirror, the room dark and curtains open as he burns holes into the person behind him. The atmosphere was tense to the point it was stifling, but the other doesn’t even look slightly affected, not even a twiddle of a thumb as they make indirect eye contact. 

“You know that won’t work.” He puts a bite to his words as he slowly taps his foot. “I want the friend Renjun right now, not my Master Renjun, not the person who pays me. I want my childhood friend Renjun, the one that I’ve been friends with since diapers. Am I talking to him? Or the cold, business Renjun?”

“Stop beating around the bush." Renjun snaps, spinning around to glare at his most loyal in waiting. "You know I hate that. What is it?” 

The tall man is eerily calm, lips forming rehearsed, thought out words as he proceeds with caution. 

“It’s the third night, I’m guessing you are very well aware of that” 

“Of course I am, this night has been haunting my very dreams Lucas.” he scoffs “I’m guessing you have something to say about it if you are wasting my time like this.” 

Renjun is on edge, hot, dark anger coating him as he clenches his fists. He felt like these next few words were not going to be very pleasing, even if Lucas was one to sugarcoat. Renjun never liked being displeased. As light and teasing as Lucas was, Renjun knows that he wouldn’t request a private audience for a trivial matter. He knew better.

“This, all of this. It’s going to backfire Jun. Even the stupid deal, it wasn’t healthy in the first place. I’m worried.” 

“Do you think I care?” Renjun stares straight into his eyes as he replies. “It’s the love of my life, I would give the world and more to him. You know that. “

Renjun crouches down into the basket he brought back from the market and takes out a few items, but Lucas’ doesn’t miss the glint of silver that flashes by. His breath hitches in alarm, thrown off course as he grabs Renjun’s arm, his own palms shaky. Renjun slightly smirks, proud that he was able to startle him. It was a mistake to send the personified puppy to stage an intervention.

“No, you wouldn’t. You’re mad Renjun. You can get over him. He’s just a normal boy. Love isn’t something you would lose so easily. You will find it in another man. It will be just as fiery, just as enchanting and just as beautiful, and that man will love you back most ardently. Don’t do this.”

A laugh chills the air as Renjun grabs his wrist in a vice-like grip

“What would you know, Lucas? You have never left the estate other than to occasionally visit the markets.” 

Lucas’ lip quivers as he quickly snatches back his wrist and steps away, the venom in Renjun’s words getting more potent with every word.

“You know just as well as I do that you grew up here. You will never leave here and will most likely die here, just like your ancestors before you.” 

Lucas takes another step back, hoping to all that is holy that the distance could give him some comfort.

“But just imagine if Jeno finds out about this side of you.” 

Lucas nurses his wrist as he watches the moon shine on the other boy, the depths of his eyes drowning him and suffocating him in the worst way possible. Like a ship heading towards rocks, Lucas continues to speak as he abandons all self preservation. 

“Tell me, do you love _him_ , or the idea of him? Do you love his personality, his traits? Or do you just like the pretty face that you can attach to an afterimage of the past?” 

Renjun’s nails dig into his fist, forming crescent moons on his palm and Lucas is well aware of it, but he soldiers on.

“It’s that book isn’t it?” He nudges his head towards the basket “The book that made you snap? I thought that was on loan for Jeno.” 

Something unsettling in Renjun changes as his mood quickly shifts, smiling and nodding as he takes out the book and stands, old pages staring at Lucas mockingly as he tries to process the rapid change in his expression. 

“Yeah, it’s beautiful if I say so myself. The characters are so charming, the tragedy and plot is delicious, and the message just rang true to my heart, you wouldn’t believe.” 

His smile was unnerving, one that would appear in someone’s nightmares and Lucas has to gather all his courage to spit out a response.

“And what message from the depths of fucking hell did you contrive, pray tell?” 

Renjun ignores the cuss as he closes the book and kisses the cover, the air dropping more than a few degrees as he holds it close to his chest.

“That if you love someone, you shouldn’t let them go. Don’t let them leave you, no matter what, or you lose a piece of yourself along with them. It’s so romantic.” 

Lucas looks nothing short of horrified as his back hits the table in the corner of the room.

“Renjun, you’re insane.”

The other boy looks otherworldly as his smile picks up maniacally at the sides, eyes big, beautiful and crazed. It doesn’t match his words as he opens the door and steps out, words lingering in the room. 

“If being in love means being insane, if this feeling of joy, this assurance of forever, and this yearning for him to be in my arms, means being insane, then so be it.”

🦢

The weather matches the occasion, they both notice as they step out of their enclosed, gilded gold carriage. The sky is clear, the stars are shining and the moon is full and bright. The manor isn’t too shabby in itself, was clearly lovingly decorated, with a carpet leading into the building, shining lights and more, and joy seemed to radiate in waves. They can hear peals of laughter, incessant chatter and happy cheers as the orchestra plays a fun tune. They couldn’t wait.

“Are you ready?” Renjun asks as he places a hand on Jeno’s arm, eyes shimmery from the slight makeup he put on himself. Dressed to the nines, Renjun wore his best navy suit, his newest top hat and all the silver jewelry that a gentleman could wear without looking too dowdy. Not for the host he didn’t know the name of, not for society as they whisper behind fans and cheap gloves, but for Jeno, who smiles down at him as he sticks out an arm for Renjun to hold. With his hair pushed back, and forest green suit pressed to perfection, he couldn’t think he looked anything else other than stunning as Jeno plants a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

“Whenever you are.” 

Renjun beams as they enter into the building as they let themselves be whisked away by dancing nobles, glimmering chandeliers and pretty conversations, merging into the crowd quite perfectly.

Somehow, they manage to stay together. For every waltz, every tango and every foxtrot, they would only part for a matter of minutes before being reunited again to continue their conversations about everything from astronomy to the delightful taste of the chocolate that was served on food trays. And with every second, Renjun is less and less likely to let go. He falls more in love with Jeno’s witty remarks and sage like insights as he goes along with the wackiest of topics, he falls more in love with every expression of joy Jeno has as he marvels over things that were common in Renjun’s life. He isn’t even trying to catch himself as he dances the night away, hoping it would last forever. But as Jeno asks him if they want to take a breather outside and talk, he checks the time and realises that Jeno, was not going to be his anymore. He would have to disappear and let Odile take his Prince, and like hell that was going to happen. 

He had a plan.

🔪

The clocktower glows a dull, luminescent gold in the distance as Jeno takes Renjun’s gloved hand and walks outside into the courtyard. The air bites their cheeks, cold and unforgiving as the stars twinkle brightly in the sky, and the grass, normally a lush green, looks slightly dark blue as the only light came from the scarce lamps scattered around the garden of the estate. Jeno doesn’t know why, but something felt off. Whether it’s the gut feeling of fear, guilt and impending doom, the thudding of his heart drumming in his ears for no reason, or the sheer feeling of disappointment that comes with finally losing his best friend, Jeno throws caution into the wind as he circles his thumbs over the other’s knuckles, letting the wind carry his words. 

“20 minutes until the third night is up Renjun, then we go back to how we agreed. I go back to my own lover, and you spend your time finding another. It’s what you promised.” 

Jeno stops when he notices Renjun shaking like he did the first night, but unlike that time, Jeno could do something about it. As he reaches out and strokes the other’s hair, he smiles as he tilts the other’s head to bring it onto his shoulder.

“Don’t cry Junnie, please. We ended things on a better note, dancing the night away in a ball even, and your company was splendid. I’m just so sorry I can’t love you in the way you deserve, but I brought you out early to ask if you have any last words until the deal finally expires, that way we can tie up every loose end.” 

However, when Renjun slowly looks up, he feels his stomach inexplicably drop, scrambling to grasp this ugly, all consuming feeling, that the smaller had just implanted in him. He never knew that the other could make such an expression, one that chilled him to the bone. Throughout the three years they’ve been together, throughout the three days this stupid deal had been on, even on that night where Jeno had basically smashed his heart onto the ground and stomped on it, never did Renjun make such an expression. He couldn’t put any other word to it other than crazed. Renjun’s pupils were blown wide, smile so deadly as it spread wider and wider. Jeno had never felt more horrified as laughs that, dear god, still sounded like bell chimes, rang through the air.

“Jen, you meant the world to me.” Renjun cups his cheek. “You were the Prince Siegfried to my Odette, you were my home, my rock and everything more. I gave you my heart and a piece of my soul when I fell in love with you. You have to understand that when you said that you were leaving, you were taking that with you.” 

Tears roll down Renjun’s face as Jeno backs away, stepping as far as he can until finally his knees hit a wall and he panics.

“Renjun, this was not what we agreed on. I give you three days of love, to compensate for my mistakes, to give you time to cope and then you leave me to love him till death do us part.” 

“But Jeno, I found another way, a better way in my opinion”  
Jeno’s eyes widen in alarm as he watches Renjun take out a small dagger from his waistcoat, the reflective silver making the tip’s gleam so much scarier as he pricks his finger on it.

_“I have decided that if I can’t have you, no one can. Look, it’s even the same metal that our promise rings were made of! Isn’t that so romantic?”_

Jeno, frozen in a mixture of shock, fear and repugnance doesn’t even have time to react as Renjun lunges for his chest. He quickly pushes Renjun’s small body away as he dodges, not even checking where he’s stepping as he tries to talk him down, flipping through his vocabulary in haste as he chooses his words.

“Renjun, stop this, you know this isn’t right. Violence is never the answer, please, you’re better than this.” 

That was the wrong response. 

Renjun screams, looking almost feral as he keeps attacking him. Jeno isn’t sure whether it sounded like pain, anguish or pure unadulterated anger, but he doesn’t have time to decipher it as he feels his foot hit a corner. Renjun uses the opportunity to sweep under his foot and bring both of them to the ground, forcing him to catch the incoming stab and finally look into Renjun’s eyes, for the final time. 

He was unrecognisable. Ugly, bare and makeup ruined from all the sweat, for once, Jeno saw what was there, and found it entirely repulsive. Solely because he saw the same obsessive glint that he saw in Chenle. The same monster that would have eventually terrorised him if he stayed. Jeno never thought of himself as a saint, but in that moment, he decided that he was wrong for feeling guilt for leaving such a monster. It would have come to this in due time. 

The Renjun he fell in love with, the Renjun he knew and The Renjun he dated for three years was gone, and maybe, he should have accepted it long ago.

However, just as he was about to flip him over and disarm him, he hears a voice. One that he shouldn’t even be hearing right now. _No, no, no, it couldn't be him. He wasn’t meant to be here._ His mind races as he begs to every deity that he can think of that it was anyone but him, that it was some random passerby, that it was staff, that maybe by some lucky chance, it was the police.

“Jeno?” a deep, lovely and oh so familiar voice echoes through the open air “Oh my gosh Jeno!” 

Alas, he sees pink hair haloed under the moonlight, and his heart drops. Jaemin, his beautiful Jaemin, drops his wine glass as he tries to run to him, but Renjun, unfortunately, turns around, 

_And spots him._

A glint of recognition flashes in Renjun’s eyes and like hunted prey, Jaemin is suddenly rooted to the ground like a deer in headlights, trying and failing to analyse the situation. Renjun holds eye contact. Jeno sees Jaemin visibly cowering and in a desperate, panicked attempt to save him, he screams. 

“Jaemin! My star! I beg of you, snap out of it! Run! Don’t look back!”

And just like that, it all goes by as fast as it came. 

Renjun’s face contorts to one of sheer rage, keeping one hand on a dagger as he pulls a silver pistol out of his waistcoat, an Enfield Mk II that was certainly not his, and shoots straight through his heart. Jeno thinks that he might as well have taken Jaemin's place, for his own is slowly wrenched out of his chest as the light in Jaemin’s eyes dies. He feels physical pain as he watches Jaemin’s eyes roll to the back of his head until he hears a telltale, soft, thud. And worst of all, Jeno couldn’t even feel angry. He didn’t feel agony, terror, anger, nor any of the responses he had often read in books as he watches red blood stain the grass and the pink cyclamen petals. He felt everything and nothing. Tears roll down his cheeks, but he feels numb. He looks up, arms trembling and suddenly feels nerve searing pain and physical repulsion as he stares at Renjun. He lets go of Renjun’s clasped hands and lays them on his sides, eyes numb, defeated, yet also defiant as he mutters his last sentence 

“I never loved you, Huang Renjun. And I never will for as long as I live.”

Jeno doesn't flinch when he feels the warm muzzle land in the middle of his forehead. He doesn't even process the last moments before the rest of his consciousness turns into ash. The shorter, still high on bloodlust, isn’t in his right mind as he turns towards the sound and shoots. It rings loud in the air, and he pants, smiling slightly in victory but as soon as he processes just who he shot, something in Renjun clicks. He throws away his gun and quickly scoops Jeno up into his arms, blood staining his hands as he strokes his cheek, begging for him to wake up. He slaps him, he kisses his forehead, he even tries to pinch himself to see if it was all a dream. 

This wasn’t how the book described it. This wasn’t romantic at all, it felt awful. Overcome with guilt, he tries even harder, hoping for a chance that he could remedy his mistakes, but realising that all effort was futile, he lays Jeno back down and closes the corpse’s eyes. He shakily gets back up to see the other body he shot and he’s never felt more disgusted with himself as he crouches down to pick up a cyclamen flower stained red. He trembles as he looks at his blood drenched hands, the fear, the terror and dread he imposes to those around him finally coming back to bite him as he scans his surroundings. He stands up and tries to figure out what to do, however, no matter how much he cycles through options in his head, he only arrives at one answer.

Run.

So he does. 

Renjun runs out the courtyard, out of the garden, out of the property, just as far out as he can, thankful that the manor was in the middle of the forest. He doesn’t know where he was going to run to, doesn’t know where he was going to go, but it maddens him that when he collapses, he can still hear the clock strike. Twelve chimes that were equally condemning as he cries towards an unforgiving sky. In regret? In disgust? In fear? He doesn’t really know himself, but as the clock chimes, again and again, Renjun’s vision darkens around the edges as he succumbs to exhaustion. 

Finally, the clock strikes one more time for Renjun’s innocence, for Renjun’s humanity, and for Renjun’s lost love, before condemning him a criminal. Because even if he was only surrounded by tall trees, dark green bushes, and brown soil, he already knew. 

That he, Huang Renjun, was as good as dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap! I'm sorry if the ending is disappointing but I wanted a fight scene, even though I'm so bad at writing them. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of a fic! I poured a bit of my soul into every one of these scenes, gosh I hope they got through. Thank you mods for running this fest so well and being so understanding and I hope you enjoy the rest of the fics in this fest!

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is relatively short, but I promise the next chapters are almost double in length! This is just to give context and exposition before things start to get more intense. If you enjoyed it, I would appreciate it if you left a comment, it would really make my day! Thank you for reading and I hope you stay around for the next ones!


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